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dear whoever decided this is The Only Correct Way to use gradle, which is sadly the only practical way to build my project on Android:

i am going to hold a grudge against you until you convince the gradle project to sanction a more reasonable way of doing this, ok? ok.

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“oh, this is easy to fix”, i thought. “i'll simply .gitignore the files and tell people to run gradle wrapper”, i thought.

hahahaha

if i globally install gradle, gradle wrapper crashes! it only works via… the gradle wrapper! what is bootstrapping!

absolute trashfire

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“okay,” i thought. “i'll simply tell the user to download and extract the zip file with the gradle wrapper, if they want that.”

h-h-haaaaah. i can't even laugh at this it makes me want to cry

one does not simply Download the gradle wrapper on its own. you must download gradle

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i am at my wit's end!! i am fucking livid! i cannot believe how up their own arses they must be to expect me to copy their seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed scripts into my repo, a script for downloading gradle, which can only be obtained by downloading gradle

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seventy-two fucking kilobytes of ambiguously-licensed download-and-run-gradle scripts. scripts which are, in fact, the only practical way to download and run gradle. which can only be obtained by downloading and running gradle, which is the thing i need the script for. h. hhhhhhh

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i'm back. i had a nice, relaxing, fulfilling time practicing piano. my keyboard has a frustrating aspect: the octave setting seems to be unchangeable(???), but you see, i can simply dial in a transposition of -12 semitones.

gradlew, on the other hand, has no solution, no escape,

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