social.noyu.me

random berlin observations thread

‪1. wow you can just buy club mate in like a normal shop‬

‪2. i walked to a used musical instrument shop and it has tons of treasures that greatly interest me and i spoke german to the guy running the shop and i'm having such a good time rn 🥺‬

3. queer people exist? has anyone heard of this. couldn't be me

‪4. i am walking So Much, i'm gonna have to revise my daily exercise target, and all these food options probably won't make me gain weight‬

5. oh nooo, touristy parts of this city are littered with those fucking scam ATMs by e*ronet. i'm lucky i once watched a youtube video by some czech guys who wanted to warn tourists, and yet i still almost got scammed; i tapped through too quick (but i got my PIN wrong lmao)

5½. btw it's suspicious how the machine appears to freeze up just before you enter the amount you want to withdraw; i double-tapped because i thought it wasn't responding, and before you know it i had requested more money than i intended to.

‪5¾. wasn't sure if free ATMs actually existed in germany but i decided to seek out an ATM run by a like actual bank and Berliner Sparkasse had my back it seems, no charge. thank you Berliner Sparkasse‬

6. Weißt irgendjemand wo ich eine Geldau-Tomate eigentlich essen könnte?

‪7. um, are you doing okay there germany? today i got two different ads (one on youtube, one on twitter) foretelling some impending societal catastrophe and telling you to hoard precious items / become a prepper‬

8. so the government requires me to register my address, but to do so i must book an appointment, and appointments are very scarce, so they release them in batches and you have to rush to try to get them at the start of the day. excuse me but what the hell? this is not a functioning bureaucracy

‪8½. actually this is like a fun little game for website refreshing enthusiasts. the appointments aren't released in a block at 8am, they drop new ones every few minutes in early hours. there's even a tool that will play a cute little sound when it finds a new one. i will win :3‬

8¾. update: (link voice) i won!

8⅞. it's actually kind of cool how you have to search all over berlin to get an appointment. it's like an epic quest, requiring rare items (landlord proof, identification, appointment) and travelling a great distance. i have to take the s-bahn, u-bahn and a bus! an adventure

‪9. zurückbleiben bitte‬

10. turns out interacting with bureaucracy can be really easy and pleasant if you speak german? i just did the anmeldung it was great. i am sorry everyone i am a fucking unicorn

11. who called it gesundbrunnen and not nordkreuz

12. i love to be asked for my feedback

‪13. need to get married at the S-Bahn station named Wedding‬

14. oh my god there is a trans-themed cafe owned by some uhh queer organisation??? 🥺

15. i love to ask questions about life in germany that nobody who speaks german as well as i do would reasonably be expected to need to ask

16. check out daft punk's new single “get lucky” if you have the chance. sound of the summer

17. even a big electronics and home appliance store in a shopping centre will accept cash payments??? this country is amazing

18. oh my god an ATM literally just swallowed my card? not intentionally, it just locked up right after inserting it. well, luckily ATM companies have phone numbers to handle this!!

apparently i speak english with a german accent if that's what the other person does… oops

‪this is becoming the thread where i declare war on the ATM isn't it‬

19. it has come to my attention that i have not yet consumed any spezzi despite having now spent five days in germany. i am now drinking one to avoid enforcement action by the federal authorities

20. wow… my euros are signed by super mario himself… i'll do whatever it takes to safeguard them…

21. zurückbleiben bitte

22. Wir suchen ein Drucker mit integrierter Kopier- und Scanfunktion (m/f/d).

oops the object there should have had the accusative

23. this must be one of those Volkseigene Betriebe i've heard so much about

24. Top FIVE THINGS you should NEVER do in a German train station:
1 - Murder. Murder is actually very illegal in Germany. It goes against the traditional German concept of „Privatsphäre“, in which they believe human beings have a right to be left alone. It is a beautiful—

‪btw my alt text in the last two tweets explains the joke‬

‪25. wait if you're in a big city in the right place at the right time, there are not only buskers, but good ones‬

‪live music is so cool i wish musicians were real‬

‪can't believe i got treated to two and a half hours of excellent live music from two different three-person bands just by standing outside a train station, this city amazes me? amplified guitars and drumkits are not my stereotype of buskers‬

26. berliners say a word other than kiez challenge [impossible]

27. travelling back in time to like 1972 to show a bunch of West German CDU politicians photos of how the Ampelmännchen has spread to West Berlin in future, and deliberately letting them believe this means the Soviets did eventually take it, just to see the looks on their faces

28. i love the clicking that the street crossing things make. makes me think of swing…

29.

> promised an „u-bahn“
> purchase ticket
> overground

🔎🐱

30.

(steps into mitte for like five seconds) HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF THIS THING CALLED CHECKPOINT CHARLIE??? DID YOU KNOW BERLIN USED TO BE DIVIDED BETWEEN THE UNITED STATES AND THE SOVIET UNION

31. i love it when the train falls out

@hikari [AU voice]
Was this service reliable?
Well, I was thinking more about the other ones.
The ones that are reliable?
Yeah, the ones the train doesn’t fall out.
Well, if this wasn’t reliable, why did it have 800 passengers on it?
I’m not saying it wasn’t reliable, it’s just perhaps not quite as reliable as some of the other ones.
Why?
Well, some of them are planned so that the train doesn’t fall out at all.
Wasn’t this planned so that the train wouldn’t fall out?
Well, obviously not.

@hikari @scarlet https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM?t=16