social.noyu.me

incidentally i wonder how many others know about this other experience [feeling one is the size of the universe when falling asleep] i'm referring to here. it used to be extremely common for me. when i found out about “alice in wonderland syndrome” it was revelatory; i extremely don't have that syndrome but i recognised the described effect https://social.noyu.me/@hikari/statuses/01JB4B1ZJ9PR8K0YJH8ZSHGR7G

it's just normal for me to try to fall asleep and suddenly my proprioception is fucked up and i feel like i am dancing on a pinhead, and then that i am as large as the cosmos itself, and every state in-between

‪if you have your eyes open during this there is the bizarre horror of feeling you are a giant in a world made for giants. the horror is one of the body variety. my self-concept includes my size, and suddenly my size is off by orders of magnitude‬

but, and i can't stress this enough, alice-in-wonderland-syndrome is when you get this during normal waking life, i think. which would probably fuck you up. i do not have that syndrome. my brief glimpses into that other world only happen at convenient moments

‪oh, i think the most amazing part of it is that you get to be the big bang and the big crunch. i do not mean in an intellectual sense, that is literally the experience. i can empathise with the universe in this respect‬

or a rapidly expanding cloud of radioactive gas produced by a nuclear bomb, i suppose. it does feel good. being a nuclear bomb definitely would feel good

‪a common point of the responses i've gotten so far is people seem to get this when they're ill! yeah, i think this is true for me too. as we have recently learned, i usually don't notice if i have a fever, but i think this is a fever symptom for me, together with worse balance‬