social.noyu.me

incidentally i wonder how many others know about this other experience [feeling one is the size of the universe when falling asleep] i'm referring to here. it used to be extremely common for me. when i found out about “alice in wonderland syndrome” it was revelatory; i extremely don't have that syndrome but i recognised the described effect https://social.noyu.me/@hikari/statuses/01JB4B1ZJ9PR8K0YJH8ZSHGR7G

it's just normal for me to try to fall asleep and suddenly my proprioception is fucked up and i feel like i am dancing on a pinhead, and then that i am as large as the cosmos itself, and every state in-between

‪if you have your eyes open during this there is the bizarre horror of feeling you are a giant in a world made for giants. the horror is one of the body variety. my self-concept includes my size, and suddenly my size is off by orders of magnitude‬

but, and i can't stress this enough, alice-in-wonderland-syndrome is when you get this during normal waking life, i think. which would probably fuck you up. i do not have that syndrome. my brief glimpses into that other world only happen at convenient moments

‪oh, i think the most amazing part of it is that you get to be the big bang and the big crunch. i do not mean in an intellectual sense, that is literally the experience. i can empathise with the universe in this respect‬

@hikari far out!

up to a point it sounded like what iirc alice shulgin describes at some point in pihkal

but this is just so. far. freaking. out.

@hikari

i have a hunch this may somehow be related with ... let's call it primacy of abstract over embodied thought? not everyone has that for sure. at the other end you may have aphantasia i guess. anyway i've hardly ever met anyone who even notices sensorial aberrations, as a kid when i tried to point em out to people they didnt understand what i was talking about like at all 🤔🤔🤔 they just sorta assumed that ... everyone sees the same thing?