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starting to think crushes (concept in attraction) don't exist
at least… there's so many ways i can feel drawn to someone, and maybe these days i can identify them as separate objects and experience them independently, which is to say they don't necessarily coincide. something like that
starting to wonder if previously perceiving all these things as interlinked was like, some kind of confusion, some kind of incorrect assumption, a self-fulfilling prophecy
important context though is that i am a lesbian, allegedly