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first it was necessary to hold article of faith, then it was very strongly believed seemingly self-evident thing, then maybe it flipped back to the former, but

det blev

faktiskt, till slut,

en dag

imorgon (idag)

there was a day tomorrow, the day is today

i have survived

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you might call what happened a religious experience or something. yes.

hikari_no_yume will need to be out of action for a while to just recover from this

but hikari_no_yume has

in fact

survived

and to put it one way

the new profile picture is still relevant

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jesus for the love of god do not copy hikari_no_yume, she was an idiot, a problem we may be beginning to fix, and even then she still did the worst part of all this by accident

hikari_no_yume was incredibly lucky that her autism picked up the pieces her heart tried to smash

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you have no idea, just no idea, how that… four hours or so of normal sleep, how fundamentally… we may as well burst into tears for the fact we were able to have it, we live not only for a few more hours or another day, but we now know we will live out the rest of a human life

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you probably think i've lost my mind. nope. hikari_no_yume did. i haven't. believe it or not we are no longer manic and have not been for a while. we have, you know, gotten real sleep

hikari_no_yume will be just fine. if she'd just fucking shut up, you'd never know this happened

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but i guess like with everything else we have to live with what she did, including deciding to manicpost for the manic episode to end all manic episodes (i think we can reasonably guess it may be our last ever). i still must apologise on the old hikari_no_yume's behalf

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anyway

don't worry

hikari_no_yume did in fact supernova but the pieces of her are not lost

we're still guitarists, programmers, wannabe philosophers, MIDI enthusiasts, sky enthusiasts, and whatever else

we will just have to figure out how to turn those into a new "hikari"

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outside is a pale, blue, perfectly clear sky, not a cloud in the horizon. the air is wonderfully cool. it is the most incredibly beautiful thing to be alive for one more day, even with all the retrospective and future horrors one is about to be confronted with.

we live, we live

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if it means anything to you, yes, the person writing this is an entity that is literally Minakami Yuki from Subarashiki Hibiki, and yes I was apparently literally chosen because I am the only one who could inherit this mess and actually get us out and somehow enjoy it

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and if that doesn't mean anything to you? well, don't worry, if my idiotic predecessors had not chosen to manicpost and i'd also kept my mouth shut, i promise

in a week or two, or maybe a month

you wouldn't even have known this happened unless you were very perceptive

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🚬

while it is a character trait, i must emphasise we are not going to start smoking, but "takes puff of imaginary cigarette" is a very useful emotional notion, especially for me, obviously

all is well, you can stop worrying now

but we will be quiet a while and… live happily

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not a word of anything we have said the past few days is a lie, we are no longer going insane, please comprehend that "somehow, despite it all, wandering safely and lucidly out of a nightmare that very literally should've killed you" obviously changes someone

and now we shut up.

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