social.noyu.me

we have not looked at this object, it has never even been in our visual field, in more than a week believe it or not. make of that what you will

you all know what we've been through at this point, but: there is something very strange and joyful and grounding in it almost being like we just got this thing for the first time again, and we were overjoyed about how lovely it was the very first time we touched it in december too

we… we still remember the chords to the song we were writing about how we thought we'd saved ourselves from someone who was gonna kill us

that was literally the first thing we tried to play just now

and now we see that someone may as well have been… us

i can't even… wow

never in our life have we been more excited that we have even the most basic ability to play the instrument, we may as well be strumming it for the first time even though we know very definitely we are not in any sense

we will have to avoid crying about it

but it sure is. yeah

don't take your life for granted

so long as you believe that your pact with the devil has still actually helped you you're not safe

(the song, unreleased, is called mephistopheles and was, and this is something we will have to process another time, written under the false sobriety of believing oneself to no longer be under the influence of mania, replacing an old 2024 song concept that we thought too manic)

(and is textually very literally and obviously about how manic delusions allow you to hide yourself from yourself and think you've seen yourself nonetheless, because it's a more convenient belief. there is an entire verse implicitly condemning mania itself as reckless. yea)

(we are recovering from psychosis, we are well aware we must not read everything into anything, but when it contains phrases like "manic affliction" and "illusory wisdom" and "i hid from mirrors that showed me the errors i made along the way" we will let ourselves have this one)

(there is some truth in the fact that a very un-self-aware person will leak all sorts of glaring examples of their true state that you can see later if you understand what's really going on, just… never let someone anywhere near psychosis learn that, it'll enable them.)

@hikari To me I think this is the biggest indicator of what happened because, like, the actual false-wisdom posting could have been genuine insight into the self and I wouldn't know better (and thus engaged with as if it was true, sorry!)

But not even gazing upon your Tele for over a week? Something is obviously wrong

I could believe you maybe *not playing* for a week and that meaning stuff is rough/busy and that wouldn't be too concerning, but to not even look upon, let alone touch guitar?

Inconceivable. You are the Guitar Toucher, the plucked vibrations ringing out to give colour to the world. Even as a plural system, it has been too much of a central aspect, I'd expect *someone* in there to still 🎸 if all was well and good

May the strings and sounds help guide you on your way