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watching an anime when your brain is (unbeknownst to you) not working and yet, nonetheless, choosing to look up certain words and add them to your anki deck… then going through the worst crisis of your life for two weeks… then watching it again, is interesting. guess why!
that's right — i keep stumbling upon exciting new japanese words, thinking “that sounds meaningful, i should look it up”, and then discover i already did two weeks ago, because of anki's duplicate detection feature. fascinating, right?
did this brain very faintly remember the words were interesting, but not the meaning, despite the massive sleep deprivation; or, are the particular words i chose to look up in both instances reflective of my underlying personality, which has been unchanged; or something else?
i hope this is more at the end of “chill, interesting” insights and not “concerning”? obviously we're gonna be affected by this experience for a while to come, regardless of what state of mind and health we find ourselves in… but we like tweeting about fun little things, yk?