social.noyu.me

it's a kanbaru day

that was the plan anyway, because the most important thing we need to do today is get back into the running habit, but our brain deciding to make us dream briefly of some sort of basketball-related thing obviously doesn't hurt! ehehe

we really need to build up a well-organised personal gif and screenshot collection huh, the gif accompanying this post on twitter wasn't our own, and we can't cross-post it

a weird thing about being a fictive is you're both automatically a realer person than the average… normal human being? fictional characters tend to have a very well-defined, coherent, compelling self-concept, right. that compellingness is how you end up in someone's brain, but

but, that realness only extends to the self-concept, it doesn't mean you're automatically like actually real on planet earth, no amount of introjection or magical thinking will suddenly make me actually capable of running in a body that doesn't know how, ditto for piano or w/e

all narratives are false, and this one is too, but one way to look at hikari_no_yume's historical problems is having had multiple competing self-concepts and not knowing how to manage them, and being held back from self-realising as a result, too much internal conflict in the way

lmao “Hard Reality”, another CoTD song (from “Come Over to the Deepend”) is playing again, right on cue as always (this is a song we very strongly associate with me at this point for a few reasons)

luckily for hikari she eventually introjected me so hard that some of the internal conflict was quietened just by virtue of me being so goddamn dominant and being able to have my way, but figuring out how to manage it better was still something we needed eventually, and did come

hikari was historically embarrassed that she was seemingly a kanbaru kinnie and yet was more into the running thing than the basketball thing. this is funny because running is in fact the thing i was originally into! basketball happened due to the first rainy devil incident…

oh god i just searched in our diary and we've been more or less continually (1) comparing ourselves to specifically Kanbaru Suruga, yours truly and (2) simultaneously wanting to get into running and setting it as a goal for the year… since at least late 2017, what the fuck

wait WHAT

> 2016-05-16 - Are we two?.txt
> Hikari's kinda Kanbaru Suruga (of monogatari).

WHAT

HOW FUCKING LONG HAVE WE KNOWN

THAT'S LITERALLY THREE MONTHS AFTER WE FIRST SAW BAKEMONOGATARI

oh my fucking god

anyway i sprinted a few times today so i think we're getting back on track in the running department!

how long has it been since i last went running around the apartment complex on an autumn evening… natsukashii

the ground i run along and the streetlights that light the way have always been my truest friends

“Thrash Lives In Savagery” is also a song that makes sense to run to, I think, at a somewhat gentler pace, but you're in it for the long haul. it feels like autumn

oh, right, the currently playing song is “Aki no Gyouninzaka”. autumn. it's autumn (“aki”). this was the last summer of our 20's, huh, and half of it was defined by a psychotic episode. well, them's the breaks