social.noyu.me

“why are you not irony-poisoned, hikari?”

thank you for asking, imaginary interlocutor

maybe it has something to do with one of the big things i did on twitter, many years back: i watched and livetweeted the whole of Sword Art Online out of morbid, ironic fascination

‪and you know what? all i remember from watching it was how much i was genuinely enjoying the actual work. i kind of loved it. it's a deeply flawed and cynical work of art, and yet, despite the layer of irony that was meant to be protecting me, all i remember is loving the world.‬

‪despite my attempt to engage with the work at arm's length, despite the fact that all i was tweeting about was how absurd some of it was, despite the fact that it had many elements that repulsed me, none of that stopped the whole 「dream」 of it from getting to my heart‬

‪why is that? i don't know. maybe it's just that i'm a dreamer. even a bad execution of a dream that sings to my heart that i refuse to admit i like is still going to punch through‬

@hikari sigh... you really do sound like a magical girl a lot of the time. I don't know how you do it

@trashbang unfortunately i am playing on easy mode because my base stat for depression is 0 points

@trashbang i think other people need a few buffs on that stat for an attempt to match me on other stats to do anything

@trashbang describing it this way feels silly but it's genuinely the best way of putting it i can think of

@hikari it's okay, I understand

@hikari it's out of range of most things, don't beat yourself up