social.noyu.me

“why are you not irony-poisoned, hikari?”

thank you for asking, imaginary interlocutor

maybe it has something to do with one of the big things i did on twitter, many years back: i watched and livetweeted the whole of Sword Art Online out of morbid, ironic fascination

‪and you know what? all i remember from watching it was how much i was genuinely enjoying the actual work. i kind of loved it. it's a deeply flawed and cynical work of art, and yet, despite the layer of irony that was meant to be protecting me, all i remember is loving the world.‬

‪why is that? i don't know. maybe it's just that i'm a dreamer. even a bad execution of a dream that sings to my heart that i refuse to admit i like is still going to punch through‬

‪i think this is also why i never managed to completely drop the monogatari series. so many things in it are deeply uncomfortable and the cop in my brain did not want me to like it, and indeed i genuinely can't recommend watching it to anyone in good faith, and yet, and yet…‬

‪and yet it is still possibly my favourite anime series, for there are so many things in it that speak to my soul, that get past all the irony and disgust. there is so much genuine beauty and passion in it. also i love kanbaru suruga more than words can express i would die for her‬

‪kanbaru suruga saved my life. well, not really, i would have lived without her, but half of all that i hold dear about who i am is somehow tied up with my impression of her in my brain. don't ask‬

‪anyway the point here is that i think if genuine passion goes into an artistic work, if a genuine effort to communicate something is made, even a person who deeply tries to hate it will not be able to avoid it affecting them. the soul longs for meaning‬

‪and, gods, life is so much more colourful if you allow yourself to sincerely enjoy things. kill the cop in your brain‬

if you enjoyed the spirit of this thread you might like amelie doree's excellent video about a game called “sex 2”. the game is exactly what its title suggests it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nJboN3iQQI

@hikari :2

@whitequark what does this emoticon mean…

@whitequark oh it kinda looks like suruga sticking her tongue out, but i don't know if that was the intent

@hikari

@whitequark 🤔

@whitequark i return from the future having discovered that you posted :2 and then edited it to :3. i only saw the latter when i viewed it from a different instance. this explains the whole chain,

@hikari sigh... you really do sound like a magical girl a lot of the time. I don't know how you do it

@trashbang unfortunately i am playing on easy mode because my base stat for depression is 0 points

@trashbang i think other people need a few buffs on that stat for an attempt to match me on other stats to do anything

@trashbang describing it this way feels silly but it's genuinely the best way of putting it i can think of

@hikari it's okay, I understand

@trashbang trying to use my WHM powers on you but apparently australia is out of range ;_;

@hikari it's out of range of most things, don't beat yourself up

@hikari@social.noyu.me this is a pretty good description of why i love it. i can acknowledge its many flaws, but it does convey a certain dream so clearly that it occupied my thoughts for near a decade.

it makes sense too since the whole concept of a dream is a core plot element. you can rightfully condemn Kayaba for what he did, but i also appreciate that he had a dream and he went to extreme lengths to bring it to life.

and there is real beauty in the world he made. that's what i love. there's cruelty and real death, but *that's what makes it real*. that's what makes the beautiful parts have any substance. he commits an unforgivable crime but he is not purely evil, perhaps not even really a true villain, because he's only motivated by his dream, and his dream *isn't* to kill everyone. it's to make a new world where people live actual lives. even down to the little things like sharing a meal at home.

Kayaba is the ultimate dreamer. i'm not saying he's redeemable. of course he isn't. he knowingly sacrificed that for the sake of his dream.

@trif nodding furiously

@hikari @trif we are allowed to criticize flawed works, but we are also allowed to love flawed works

we can even do both at the same time!

enjoying something despite (or in spite) of its flaws is something I think I’d argue is objectively better than flat-out rejecting it despite everything it might have to offer. our media doesn’t need to be perfect, we just need to like it