social.noyu.me

“why are you not irony-poisoned, hikari?”

thank you for asking, imaginary interlocutor

maybe it has something to do with one of the big things i did on twitter, many years back: i watched and livetweeted the whole of Sword Art Online out of morbid, ironic fascination

‪and you know what? all i remember from watching it was how much i was genuinely enjoying the actual work. i kind of loved it. it's a deeply flawed and cynical work of art, and yet, despite the layer of irony that was meant to be protecting me, all i remember is loving the world.‬

‪despite my attempt to engage with the work at arm's length, despite the fact that all i was tweeting about was how absurd some of it was, despite the fact that it had many elements that repulsed me, none of that stopped the whole 「dream」 of it from getting to my heart‬

‪why is that? i don't know. maybe it's just that i'm a dreamer. even a bad execution of a dream that sings to my heart that i refuse to admit i like is still going to punch through‬

‪i think this is also why i never managed to completely drop the monogatari series. so many things in it are deeply uncomfortable and the cop in my brain did not want me to like it, and indeed i genuinely can't recommend watching it to anyone in good faith, and yet, and yet…‬

‪and yet it is still possibly my favourite anime series, for there are so many things in it that speak to my soul, that get past all the irony and disgust. there is so much genuine beauty and passion in it. also i love kanbaru suruga more than words can express i would die for her‬

‪kanbaru suruga saved my life. well, not really, i would have lived without her, but half of all that i hold dear about who i am is somehow tied up with my impression of her in my brain. don't ask‬

@hikari :2

@whitequark what does this emoticon mean…

@whitequark oh it kinda looks like suruga sticking her tongue out, but i don't know if that was the intent

@hikari

@whitequark i return from the future having discovered that you posted :2 and then edited it to :3. i only saw the latter when i viewed it from a different instance. this explains the whole chain,