social.noyu.me

one of those things that follows naturally from my current philosophical bent that feels a bit too spicy to outright say is that basically every form of deviation from the norm has to exist, and the spiciness comes in the examples like, for example, the world needs insane people

and that's easy to stomach if you assume i mean people who are “a little bit insane” but i do also mean whatever the most uncomfortable kind of insanity you can imagine is. i think you can't eliminate that from this world without upsetting the balance of all things

the normie version of this take is that without adhd autist depressed schizos you don't get any cool art and that's entirely correct but it goes way, way, way deeper than that

‪like Christianity's view of the world (which i must add i feel very qualified to comment on because i grew up a genuine believer and later lost my faith and became an apostate) requires, even loves, the existence of all the things it claims to decry. they're horny for Satan‬

‪at the same time though there's a lot of people who, if given the chance to press a button that would make insane people disappear from the world forever, actually would, and spend a lot of time arguing with others about where the threshold should be, and they deeply terrify me‬

‪this feels spicy to me because of how serious i am about it and how non-moralistic it is, which are particularly hard to convey. i think if i animatedly explained it in person, in full detail, to the right kind of guy, they'd recall in horror and tell me i deserve death‬

‪but just reading my words on twitter you are only going to construct the most mild and acceptable form of this idea in your head, perhaps. i don't know‬

‪from a Christian perspective i am already insane, but they would not use that word, for it is a psychological and spiritual immune response that gets categorised as “evil” to avoid having to understand it‬

you know how Satanism in its most widely understood form is not a real religion? it's a strawman religion that Christians invent so they can avoid understanding the Other. it's spiritually, psychologically necessary for them to believe that the Other believes in hell

‪but i don't believe in hell, or heaven. there are hells and there are heavens on this earth, but not in the classical sense. i believe only in the cold embrace of death. and i believe that death is a good thing.‬

at the same time i believe that god is real, and i could spend a long time pretending to be christian without ever lying, but i would also not be telling the truth, because this reality only exists in one of my many contradictory belief systems

‪type of guy who calls this a schizophrenic worldview because he thinks schizophrenia refers to having multiple personalities‬

@hikari

correct. hell is the self-preservation instinct.

@unspeaker could you elaborate? this sounds interesting

@hikari

texhnolyze 😅

being is ever-changing. all forms it may take are impermanent. yet a form is defined by its struggle for permanence. there is nothing wrong per se about form or deformation or formlessness; it is the involuntariness of deformation that causes pain - inversely, the pain originates with the struggle of the form to preserve itself.

as sentient animals, ourselves involuntarily formed, it's something we're stuck with

and another hell is where one is stuck only able to deform

@unspeaker i see! thank you

@hikari

(and i'm stuck in a hell where the more things are elaborated, the less clear they become 🤣)

@unspeaker very real!

@unspeaker i think it's the same for me. it's best when something clicks instantly. the explanation kind of waters it down, somehow

@hikari iirc bob wilson or chris hyatt or some such old-school acid illuminati wreetor had a foreword like "no, what we're doing is really not esoteric christianity! and stop asking! we're literally. against. christianity. no, seriously!"

@unspeaker hahahaha

@hikari half-serious have you tried believing in some eastern religions?

@r oh i've entertained the idea albeit not very deeply. at this point it seems most likely i'll end up with an even weirder religion

@hikari huh okay, it's not just us that's somehow become/becoming "more" religious while going through an "insane" arc

we wouldn't characterize our own experiences nor what we understand of yours as "weirder" though - they don't feel *in*compatible with the fragments of eastern religions we did grow up being exposed to

@r yeahhh eastern religions are way more chill with this, been getting some great vibes from a friend who's interested in buddhism

@hikari 🤷‍♀️ our own experience with western religions is the cursedness that is America, so we can't say how it works elsewhere

from what we understand of what you've said so far, you seem to be describing a very non-moralistic nondualism, which is quite consistent with our own re-experiencing of spirituality

@r “nondualism” oh my god this is actually a theme of the visual novel i am currently reading…

@hikari if your current arc is as similar to ours as it seems, another interesting thing for you to poke at might be "pantheism"

@hikari I mean to me it sounds like that's just eugenics. So with that in mind I think you advocating for the most insane people to exist isn't radical at all. Or shouldn't be, at least.

@KurisuVanEdge yes, but consider that there are many people who would not consider it eugenics if the nature of the world itself could be changed such that no death was required to accomplish this end

@hikari Yeah I get that, but that's why I added it "shouldn't be radical".
In my opinion Link still committed genocide on Koholint Island by waking up, even if he didn't "kill" anybody.

@hikari For me it starts getting interesting if we think about creating a new world, without changing the current one, leaving this ecosystem and all it's souls alone, as they should be.
If you were tasked with building another, completely isolated plane of existence from scratch, would you do anything different at all? Or would that make it feel inherently hollow and wrong for being incomplete?
I'm honestly not sure if I know my own answer.